NOT MY WILL BUT THINE
(Nori Kelley)

On my knees again before you
My heart cries out loud
All I want is just to seek You for Your presence to reveal
How can I begin to tell You
The things that I've been going through
You know what I'm feeling and I've nothing to conceal
But God, the pain is so real
And I'm trying to see just how this fits in with the deal

Drifting in and out of Your presence
Can leave a man in misery
So I've been asking You to deal with everything that's in the way
But when You touch me in those delicate places
I want so bad to turn away
'Cause I'm afraid of hearing anything that You might have to say
Why am I acting this way?
When I cling to my security, Your voice I can't obey

And I'm beginning to understand
The meaning of the cross I have to bear
And if I wanna take Your hand
I must be willing to go with You anywhere
And though it hurts to see those secret thoughts
Being brought out into view
It's all part of what I chose to do
When I gave my life to You

"Oh please, not that one, Lord, it means so much to me!"
Guess I'm still holding on to what I think is mine
"Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me
Nevertheless, not my will, but Thine!
Nevertheless, not my will, but Thine

And I'm beginning to understand
The meaning of this cross I'm called to bear
And if I wanna take Your hand
I must be willing to go with You anywhere
And now I see how much You love me
In bringing on these changes I'm going through
It's all part of what I chose to do
When I gave my life to You
When I gave my life to You
Oh, how I want to give my life to You

1983 Nori Kelley
Published by Count The Cost Publishing / BMI.
All rights reserved. Used by permission.

This song was birthed out of an intense desire to die to self. I was coming to realize that the more I tried on my own to crucify the flesh, the more alive my flesh seemed to become - the closer I tried to get to God, the louder my own will screamed out. Romans 7 was becoming very real to me in those days...

The influence here was definitely Keith Green, maybe some Randy Stonehill.

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